The Sweet Space In Between: How Not to Control Your Breath

Most of us swing from completely ignoring it to trying to micromanage it. It’s rare to find that middle ground.

When Breathing Leaves You Feeling Dizzy
I had just zipped up my jacket after wrapping up a private session with one of my students. My thoughts had already wandered to the dinner waiting for me at home when her voice pulled me back:
“I’ve got to say, when I saw your latest video on social media, I thought, Seriously? How much can someone talk about breathing?” she said, looking me straight in the eye.
I couldn’t help but laugh. She wasn’t the first person to say something like that—and probably wouldn’t be the last. But before I could respond, she fidgeted with the collar of her sweater and added, “But… the more you talk about it, the more I notice my own breathing. And you know what? It’s not great. I catch myself out of breath all the time. I’ve even had these mini panic attacks because of it. And when I try to fix it, it just gets worse.”

The Breathless Cycle
One of the most common questions I hear when I bring up breathing is: “But why is it even important?” And honestly, I get it. For years, I didn’t pay much attention to my own breath either. It wasn’t until I started practicing yoga regularly that I noticed how often I’d hold my breath under pressure, struggle to catch it during exercise, or fall into the habit of mouth breathing.
Take sun salutations, for example. Every single time I tried them, I’d be gasping for air by the end.
That’s what led me to pranayama—a set of yogic breathing techniques focused on controlling and regulating the breath. At first, it felt like a game changer. But over time, I realized it wasn’t a perfect fix. My pelvic floor issues flared up, and I started to see that what I really needed was to go back to basics—to rebuild a healthy, natural breathing pattern. So, pranayama took a backseat for a while.

Finding the Sweet Spot
Looking back, I think my journey with breathing is pretty common. Most of us swing from completely ignoring it to trying to micromanage it. It’s rare to find that middle ground.
But for me, that middle ground—the space where you’re neither ignoring your breath nor trying to control it too much—turned out to be the sweet spot. And I found it through mindfulness.
Mindfulness puts breath awareness at the heart of almost every practice. It’s about noticing how your breathing changes in different moments—whether you’re meditating or just living your everyday life. This approach is rooted in anapanasati, a Buddhist technique that’s all about letting go of control and simply allowing your breath to flow naturally.

The Surprising Side Effect
Mindfulness isn’t about changing your breath. It’s about letting it be exactly as it is—even if it’s shallow, uneven, or noisy. The practice is really just about being present.
Over time, though, you might notice some patterns—like how your breath shifts with your emotions or what’s happening around you. But that’s not the goal of the practice. It’s just a happy side effect.
Larry Rosenberg, a well-known meditation teacher, put it beautifully:

Your Challenge for Today
Ready to give it a try? Let’s practice letting go together:
1. Find a quiet spot where you can sit comfortably.
2. Notice your breath as it flows in and out, and be aware of any urge to control it.
3. If you catch yourself trying to adjust it—by speeding it up, slowing it down, or moving it to a different part of your body—gently bring your focus back to just observing.

Little by little, you’ll start to feel more ease—not just in your breath, but maybe, as Larry suggested, in other areas of your life too.
What do you think? Worth a shot?

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